Don's Devotionals: Learning to love God

Ephesians 4:32a  Be kind and compassionate to one another,…

A special memory from several years ago:  “I am sitting in my leather recliner typing with Pappy, a small Poodle, squeezed in next to me on the seat. My left arm is resting on his back as I type. It’ funny, when I went to sit down, he was off to the side but when I sat down, he was already in the chair next to me. Pappy is Tom & Karen’s dog.  They are good friends of ours and Pappy is a good friend of Snuggles, our Pekingese.”

While living in Tennessee, Donna and I so appreciated the fact that when we went out of town, Tom & Karen watched Snuggles, and when they went out of town, we got to watch Pappy.  It was a twofold blessing.  The blessing to us wasn’t just when our pet was being watched by them.  There was an equal blessing to us when we watched their pet.  We know how we feel when we’re the ones traveling.  We didn’t worry about Snuggles because she was with them.  Likewise, they didn’t worry about Pappy, because Pappy was with us.  While it’s wonderful to save the cost of a kennel, the blessing is far more than monetary.  It was a very special kindness that both couples were able to experience – and one that any owner of a pet can appreciate.

Stop and think about the wonderful blessing of ‘kindnesses’.  Can you think of incidents in your life where similar types of kindnesses occur?  I’m talking about where we experience an awareness of being blessed; where we want to say thank you to the one(s) extending the kindnesses to us.  Kindnesses can be big or small.  Sometimes the smallest things done at the right time can bring extraordinary blessing.  They are like seasonings in our lives –
making things ‘taste’ better.

How about where we are the ones seeing the needs of others and helping them?  Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  We don’t ‘do’ to ‘get’ – but He was describing something that is to become a way of life for us.  It is the wonder of being other-oriented.  Today’s verse can be viewed as a command that we have to do (which it really is) or we can view it as one of God’s keys to great blessing: we get to be kind and compassionate!

An important thought to remember:  kindnesses are actions – not just feelings of good will.  They are things we do.  It is seeing opportunities around us and responding where we are able.  Remember how blessed we are when others see our need and are kind to us.  Let us do likewise.

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Proverbs 27:5-6a  Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  ⁶ Wounds from a friend can be trusted,

One of my classes at Wheaton Grad School dealt with resolving conflicts.  We each had to take a test that measured our view of confrontation.  Among the students in the class were pastors, missionaries, teachers and workers in Christian organizations.  We were all a bit surprised when we discovered that we all wanted to avoid confrontation like the plague!

‘Confrontation’ is one of those words like ‘commands’, ‘obey’, ‘obedience’, ‘submission’ that we seem to have an allergic reaction to instead of seeing it as vital to healthy Christian
living.  We tend to think of explosive, angry, unpleasant interactions that make the problems worse.

Rather, it’s important to recognize that facing up to problems, issues or people is essential – and to do so in love is a requirement of scripture.  It is a multifaceted redemptive skill that we must learn.  Key to confronting situations is learning how to do it, when to do it and if in fact it needs to be done.

Years ago my dad belonged to a men’s Bible study.  One day he commented that he was going to quit attending it – that most of the men had already quit coming.  I asked him why.  He said, “Wally just won’t quit talking and dominates everything.”  I suggested that
he talk to Wally and tell him about this problem he has – that his non-stop talking is driving the men away.  Dad said, “I couldn’t do that.  None of us want to hurt Wally’s feelings.”  The men thought it better for the Bible study to die than to confront a brother with a blind spot who probably didn’t realize what he was doing.

If we are doing something wrong or something that is causing a problem, wouldn’t we want to know about it?  Wouldn’t we want a co-worker, a friend, or a loved one to take us aside and in kindness inform us of it?  If we were Wally, wouldn’t we want to know before we were sitting all by ourselves?

The Golden Rule is such a simple yet profound learning tool – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  When it comes to speaking to someone about a problem (think family, kids, spouse, parents, friends), we are to do it in a way that we would like it done to us if the roles were reversed.

A Special Prayer:  The Scriptures are filled with such wonderful men and women of faith.  The Lord helped me write this prayer several years ago for a conference.  It is particularly fitting this time of year with graduations, commencements, weddings and new beginnings.  I trust that it will stir within you an increased desire to become everything you can be.  Regardless of our age, our focus can be sharpened enabling us to become more of what He wants us to be.  God bless you!

Oh Lord Jesus,

I pray that each of us will become

• like Joseph – that we will stay faithful to You – even when the dreams You give us, seem like they will never come true.
• like Moses – that we will turn aside when You place a burning bush in our path.
• like Joshua and Caleb – that we will be brave and courageous in the face of giants in the land..

I pray that we will be

• like Ruth – that we will live godly lives leading to incredible destinies
• like Isaiah – that in response to hearing Your call, each of us will say, “Here am I.  Send me.”
• like Esther – that we will recognize the times for which we have been created and face them with faith and courage.
• like Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – our commitment to You is not based on whether you will save us from a fiery trial or not.

I pray that we will be

• like Peter and Andrew – that we will follow You when you call us to be fishers of men.
• like the 2 disciples on the road to Emmaus – that our hearts will burn within – whenever You speak to us.
• and like Paul – that the day will come, when each of us can say, “I have fought the good fight.   I have finished the race.  I have kept the faith!”

Mark 4:7  Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled among the weeds and nothing came of it.

It’s amazing how many weeds have flowers.  I’m not talking about the ones that you see along roads or out in fields.  I’m talking about the ones that come up in your gardens along with the flowers that have been planted.  The garden in the middle of the yard here is loaded with both.  My problem is telling which is which.

Some flowers are easy to identify: roses, iris, tulips and daffodils.  Likewise dandelions are weeds.  Even though a field of blooming dandelions might be pretty, that beauty ceases to exist when they are in our yards and gardens.  The problem is all the other stuff that is coming up in the garden.

I have never been a gardener so when I look at this garden my thoughts are to get someone who knows this stuff and have them identify the flowers and the weeds.  When I look closely though, it’s apparent that some of the flower-bearing ‘growth’ is rapidly filling the garden and choking other plants out.  It’s almost like this ‘growth’ wants me to be distracted by its pretty little flowers while it takes over and chokes out the ‘opposition’ – the true flowers that are intended to grow.

Welcome to the spiritual garden of our lives where we have growing ‘cultural’ weeds and kingdom flowers – and each of us is responsible for what is found there.  The problem is that far too many who call themselves Christian have their spiritual gardens (read lives) filled with pretty little ‘flowers’ that are all weeds; and these weeds are choking out and obliterating the kingdom life that belongs there.

Jesus warned us about this in the Parable of the Sower from which today’s verse comes.  We must not underestimate the power of these ‘weeds’ in our lives when we allow them to become established instead of pulling them out.  Here is Jesus’ warning as given in The Message:

“The seed cast in the weeds represents the ones who hear the kingdom news but are overwhelmed with worries about all the things they have to do and all the things they want to get. The stress strangles what they heard, and nothing comes of it.”                   (Mark 4:17-18)

Pray that the Lord will help us identify the ‘weeds’ in our lives; and that He will enable us to see where we have allowed ourselves to become deceived into thinking they are genuine flowers that belong there.  The Holy Spirit will then enable us to effectively “weed” the garden of our life.

Psalm 42:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and ⁶ my God.

Have you noticed that difficult situations can have a strong impact upon us particularly if they drag on and on?  They can wear us down.   I think of being in a boat without power at sea that is drifting with the current towards a reef.  The sound of the waves pounding the reef are harbingers of the doom that is about to smash our boat and us to smithereens.  It’s just a matter of time…

Think of being overcome with distress and ‘downcast’ as the boat drifts nearer the reef. But then an unseen voice cries out to us, “You are in a sailboat!” We respond, “So?”  The voice speaks again, “Put up your sail!”  (Let’s assume we are really dense)  To which we reply, “What will that do?”

The voice answers, “The wind is blowing away from the reef – and it is stronger than the current!”  We obey the voice and put up the sail – and as we do, the wind catches it and moves us away.  The reef and pounding waves are still there but we are not at their mercy.

At this point, instead of thinking this is a dumb illustration, consider how often we succumb emotionally and spiritually to the stresses in our lives, instead of looking to Christ.  Through our hope and trust in Him, He provides the ‘sail’ and the ‘wind’ to take us to safety.  He frees us from being downcast.

We are not at the mercy of our circumstances!  In the midst of whatever we find ourselves in, Jesus is our hope, our joy and our strength.  Let us look to Him.

Proverbs 17:9  He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

You’re driving down the road in wintery weather.  A truck goes by and suddenly your windshield is covered with slush and dirt.  Visibility has just decreased about 99% and you can’t see anything.  Even with your wipers on high it just becomes a brown blur.  At that moment isn’t it nice to push the button and have your windshield sprayed with washer fluid? In seconds you can see again.

One of the nice things about this illustration is that in real life the consequences of not having a functional windshield washing system are immediately apparent when the need arises.  For most of us, the one item that most likely could go wrong is to be out of fluid.  Driving and not being able to see just don’t go together.

We might not realize it but failing to overlook offenses in relationships is like driving in traffic without being able to see; accidents happen and damage occurs.  Such ‘mud’ on the windshield of life is normal.  Jesus followers have the ‘spiritual fluid’ and the practical ability to clear it away.  We don’t take offense.  We cover over the offense.  We overlook it.  We forgive.

We do not allow offenses to become wedges in relationships.  That is exactly what the enemy of our souls wants to have happen.  The Message puts today’s verse this way:

 Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!

 The Amplified Bible spells out a bit more the actions involved in this:

 He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.   

 May we have the spiritual eyes to see the ‘mud’ on our windshield when offenses occur so that we will respond in a way that reflects the love we share.

2 Corinthians 5:7  We live by faith, not by sight.

Have you ever noticed how common mistakes are?  Fortunately we don’t have video replay in our daily lives where family and friends can relive our blunders.  It’s bad enough listening to our kids hilariously remembering them.  But the sporting world provides some wrenching examples of errors by referees / umpires, and usually there is video replay that everyone has to live with – for better or worse.  While no one expects perfection, you just hope mistakes are inconsequential.  Unfortunately, some errors that come to mind were anything but.

Some years ago a Detroit Tiger pitcher was deprived of a perfect game by an umpire’s mistake.  With two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning, the umpire mistakenly called a runner safe at first when replays clearly showed he was out – the last out! Afterward, the umpire was devastated to see the video replay of his mistake that deprived the pitcher of a rare perfect game.  Yes, umpires make mistakes, but this one involved the final out of a perfect game.

Most sports use technology or video replay to some degree to ensure against significant refereeing mistakes.  Soccer does not.  In the World Cup, on the same day, Germany and Argentina advanced in games marred by refereeing errors.  The whole world saw that England scored against Germany to tie the game up before the half at 2-2.  Unfortunately the referee and his linesman missed it! Germany went on to win 4-1.  That evening Argentina beat Mexico3-1, but Argentina’s first goal should have been disallowed because it was scored by a player clearly offside.

Such mistakes really offend our sense of fairness – particularly when video replay confirms the error!  If only the mistakes could have been corrected, the results might have been different.  If only the baseball Commissioner had overturned the umpire’s call… If only video replay had been used in World Cup games…  If only God had….

Our response in difficult situations reveals what we really believe about God – who we think He is.  Is He our rock, our refuge, our comforter, our sustainer, our enabler, our inspiration, etc….  Or is He a referee who occasionally gets it wrong – who allows things that aren’t fair?  Do we get upset because something happens that is ‘against our understanding of the rules’ and we complain and question and argue: “He should have caught that!”

We need to understand that walking by ‘sight’ leads us on the path to the ‘referee / fairness’ model that results in victims and blown calls.  Walking by ‘faith’ leads us to the reality of who God is and how incredibly secure we are in Him – no matter what our circumstances look like.  Remember, God never has an “Oops!”

Philippians 1:3  I thank my God every time I remember you.

Let’s take some time to remember the very special people that God has used to bless and help us over the years.  They may be life long friends or they may be individuals that God brought into our lives for one moment in time.  As I write this I think of a lady who was sitting next to us in a meeting over 40 years ago.

Donna and I were as poor as church mice, and living on faith.  An offering was being taken and we had only $5.  We prayed and knew the Lord wanted us to put it in the offering, so we did.  Then this lady next to Donna turned and gave her a $10 bill.  We don’t know her name, but we thank God for her.

Think of people who have helped us when we needed it.  When Donna and I were going through a difficult time in our marriage in 1992, the Lord provided Ric & Val.  What priceless friends they became.  He was (and is to this day) a marvelous counselor but they were so much more than that.  Their love and friendship provided a safe-harbor for us to address the issues confronting us.

At work back around 1990 the Lord provided Mindy a systems specialist who helped me navigate implementing major accounts on a new claims system.  She became a priceless resource for me and helped me innumerable times through the years.  I remember being in one meeting where I was representing marketing and the technical discussion was over my head.  Then someone made a statement and Mindy spoke up.  She said, “Don you need to ask about what he just said because it will negatively affect marketing and your accounts.”  Thanks to her, something I would have missed was caught and changed.  She also was a Christian who has prayed for my family and me for years.

There are so many people that God has used in all our lives.  Ask Him to help you to remember them and the situations that someone blessed you in.  Sit with a spouse or family member and help each other remember and focus on the positives.  It is such a blessing to have our hearts filled with gratitude when we remember those God has put in our lives.  Then take one more step and write, email or call and share today’s scripture with them and how they have made a difference in your life.

John 1:45-46  ⁴⁵ Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”  ⁴⁶ “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked. “Come and see,” said Philip.

Have you noticed how powerfully we can be affected by our perception of things?  If we perceive something to be good or positive we respond differently that if we view it negatively – particularly if it involves us.   Our perception becomes our reality which is fine and good provided that it is accurate.  All too often we can find ourselves responding inappropriately because we are missing pieces of vital information that could radically change how we view something .

I am reminded of a story from the great tsunami in 2004.  In many places, people on beaches in that region were fascinated by what they were seeing.  The shoreline was receding accompanied by frothing bubbles.  If I had been there, I can see myself standing with others discussing this curiosity that was unfolding before us – unaware that it was the precursor of something incredibly deadly.

Tilly Smith is a British girl who, at age 10, was credited with saving nearly a hundred foreign tourists at Maikhao Beach (Thailand) by raising the alarm minutes before the arrival of the tsunami caused by the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake.

She learned about tsunamis in a geography lesson two weeks before the tsunami.  She recognized the receding shoreline and frothing bubbles on the surface of the sea and alerted her parents, who warned others on the beach and the staff at the hotel on Phuketwhere they were staying. The beach was evacuated before the tsunami reached shore, and was one of the few beaches on the island with no reported casualties.

Fortunately, Tilly was believed and lives were saved.  Credible information received changed something from a curiosity to a serious reality that required an immediate response.  It wasn’t dismissed because it came from a 10 year old girl. In today’s verses, we have the well known retort of Nathanael to Philip telling him about Jesus of Nazareth: “Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?”  When Philip ignored the retort and replied, “Come and see,” Nathanael followed Philip to Jesus.

Fortunately, Philip was able to let go of his perception of ‘things fromNazareth’ and recognized the reality of who Jesus was (and is) and became one of the twelve disciples.  We too get to deal with our perceptions of who Jesus is or isn’t.  Either way our lives will be changed.  We must question the sources and validity of our perceptions because they might be keeping us from the truth.  They might keep us on the beach convinced tsunamis aren’t real.

Romans 14:8  If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

Upon entering Wheaton Grad School I was aware that I had the potential to do really well.  Mediocrity was no longer acceptable but I was also aware that I had never been a great student – my study habits had to change.  It’s one thing to think about becoming a good student.  It’s another to actually become one.  The Lord didn’t leave me to my own devices – He gave me a life changing idea and the motivation to implement it.

I needed to hold myself accountable for how much time I actually studied outside of class.  This resulted in the creation of my ‘Accountability Book’.  I tracked down to five minute blocks of time how much I actually studied, and I was ruthless with myself.  I remember going to the library to study for the morning.  My thoughts were I would study for four hours from 8:00 until 12:00.  The reality was a bit different.  After taking time out for getting coffee in the union, talking with friends, checking my mail, going to chapel, etc… instead of four hours of study, it was 1 hour and 40 minutes!

The lesson of the Accountability Book was if I put in the time to genuinely study, I got ‘A’s.  This led to the realization that my focus wasn’t to be on getting ‘A’s but upon the ‘process’ of studying – mastery of what I needed to learn.  This led to the liberating realization that right process produces right results.

Inherent in this is recognizing that we have a lot to learn and the importance of always being teachable.  Whether it’s learning a job, learning to be a spouse or a parent – or learning to do these roles better – we have invaluable resources to help us achieve quality.  First and foremost is our Lord who is intimately involved in our lives.  He will show us where we need to improve.  In addition, we have Scriptures, books, mentor/coaches, pastoral teams, Christian friends, bosses, co-workers, etc… as valuable resources.

We must recognize that being a good parent, a good spouse, good worker, etc… is consistent with (and required by) our faith.  He enables us to recognize our shortcomings and become better at these things than we currently are.  Never be too proud to ask for help.  Our Lord wants quality in all of the roles we find ourselves in.  He doesn’t separate the sacred and the secular.

Our life in Christ transforms us so that we are able to glorify Him and must glorify Him with ever-improving quality in everything we do.  This is what living to the Lord is all about.  Beginning today, wherever we find ourselves, Jesus has a redemptive path that will enable us to do just that.